After packing up nicely my bogu bag last night, this morning I woke up at 6am, 7am and 8.30am (probably due to some stages of insomina)... I washed my face, came back to my room and decided not going to the squad today. For a simple reason: I don't want to go.
The moment I walked out from my bed I can feel the muscle pain from my left leg. It's still hurting, and only this afternoon I can walk with a less limping movement. If that's what kendo is doing to me, without the feeling of improvement or success, why is it my responsibility to do the suffering? More importantly, the tiring feeling is very discouraging for my normal life. Say, I can't even walk properly for days, and constantly feeling tired without doing much work.
So I am considering dropping out of the squad. In fact I have been doing that for the last couple of Sundays. I used to think that I'll enjoy the challenge - but when the training is turning to be a chore, drag and torture to my normal life, I can't enjoy any minute of it.
Two more weeks and there will be some visitors from Hokkaido - including Eiga Naoki's Sensei, Furukawa sensei. Maybe I'll just go and watch, take a few snaps... and practice with the high-school students...
I seem to have lost my passion - but where is it?
BTW Today I have been back from London for exactly half a year...
The b-day "funding" I got from my grandma was used to buy a decent pair of Mizuno trainers and a pair of Reebok sport shorts. Here's what I made out of 800-metre run this evening:-
1st trial= 3'25"03
2nd trial= 3'36" 83
I can't believe the equipments had made such a difference...! Even though I admit I went too fast at the starting 100m on the first trial (the shoes are too good and hard to control...) Still, that's more than 30 seconds faster than my previous records...!!!
3'25" is the standard for Men's fitness test for Police Inspector, and I am starting to touch it. Since there are 7 testing subjects (Vertical-jump, Pull-up, Shuttle-run (10x10M), Sit-up, Burpee, Threading, 800m Run) on the same day, I'd have to make sure I can last every single one of them... Even though the minimal standard for some of the subjects are pretty easy. (like sit-up 12 times in 30 sec, WTH?!)